there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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