FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
