1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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