Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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