I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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