Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Everclear isn't food dammit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
