how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
