Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
