i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
