I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
