Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
