Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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