I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I will die if light touches me.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
