They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
