I bet he comes in French.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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