the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize