can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
