At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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