On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
