Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
