I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
