obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
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I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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