I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
