Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize