There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
