Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
