this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
