So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
