Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
