oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't deserve a penis
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
