I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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