Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
home. puking in laundry basket.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
