um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
