i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize