I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
