I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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