I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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