I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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