K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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