So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You're like the curious george of whores
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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