We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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