no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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