Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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