so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
