and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
