Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks