dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask