and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner