Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.