If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
