SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will pee on everything he values.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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