Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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