literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
