Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Text me some of your sweat
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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