Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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