and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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