if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
