R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
