If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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