No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
