What a fucking waste of an outfit
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We got so high we made milksteak
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
