I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
