I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize